![\"Seinfeld](\"http:\/\/dulcipass.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/Unfrosted_00_58_20_07_R.JPG_Unfrosted_00_58_20_07_R.0.jpeg\")
This is where I draw the line<\/p>\n
Growing up, I liked Pop-Tarts. I don\u2019t think that\u2019s a particularly novel sentiment for an American child to have; they\u2019re delicious little squares of crust and fruit goo packed in silvery packets, like bricks of kid-friendly cocaine. Like a lot of children (and some adults), I never thought about the fact that something I liked might be bad for me, until one day in the eighth grade, Mrs. Schenck saw one of us crack open a pack and said, \u201cThere is zero nutritional value in a Pop-Tart.\u201d Perhaps she thought shame would change the habits of a bunch of rangy preteens. Pop-Tarts, however, are not the purview of anyone remotely concerned with shame. <\/p>\n
Unfrosted<\/em>, Jerry Seinfeld\u2019s Netflix-produced directorial debut, is loosely based on the wild story of how Pop-Tarts came to be. Seinfeld, who also co-scripted the film, stars as Bob Cabana, a Kellogg\u2019s marketing executive loosely based on food-industry executive William Post<\/a>. With the help of Melissa McCarthy as former NASA scientist Donna Stankowski, Cabana is tasked with beating Kellogg\u2019s rival Post Cereals to market with a shelf-stable pastry, a product that would change the breakfast world of 1963. It\u2019s The Right Stuff<\/em>, but about corporate snack innovation, and played with the absurdity that premise implies.<\/p>\n A murderer\u2019s row of Known Funny People pop up to do bits 30 seconds at a time, from Hugh Grant as a diva Tony the Tiger (playing on his real-world reputation<\/a>) to Drew Tarver of The Other Two<\/em> playing Pop, one of the Rice Krispies mascot elves (playing off the reputation of his character on The Other Two<\/em><\/a>). It\u2019s a pretty family-friendly affair, even if most of the jokes will fly over kids\u2019 heads. How familiar are your children with the Jan. 6 insurrection<\/a>? <\/p>\n Naturally, the premise sounds silly. Foolish, even. But Seinfeld doesn\u2019t let it show. Unfrosted<\/em> is briskly paced and gamely acted, and its script, co-written by Spike Feresten, Andy Robin, and Barry Marder, does not contain a whit of self-consciousness. It\u2019s also funny at times, even if it is a depressing, vulgar little project. <\/p>\n There is no aspect of the American experience that cannot be grafted onto a product. This is one of the core tenets of advertising \u2014 the best way to sell something is to associate it with what the audience holds dear. But lately, Hollywood, in a desperate bid for familiar intellectual property that will guarantee an audience, has gotten in on the action too. Consider: Flamin\u2019 Hot<\/em><\/a> <\/em>spinning a bag of Cheetos into a paean to the idealized bootstraps immigrant experience, Barbie<\/em> as a pop-feminist treatise<\/a>, or Air<\/em> as a dirge for the monoculture<\/a>. It\u2019s embarrassing to funnel culture through this lens, to continually seek new ways<\/a> to marry the human experience to shit you can buy. <\/p>\n Juxtaposing Unfrosted<\/em> with other movies in the burgeoning product-mythology canon, it isn\u2019t as obvious what Seinfeld is trying to accomplish with his movie\u2019s gag-a-minute antics. But there are dots to connect. Bob Cabana, in a running joke, continually finds inspiration in a pair of precocious children who go dumpster diving at Post Cereals purely for the rush, snacking on leftover filling and other edible detritus the company throws away. Cabana and his peers at both Kellogg\u2019s and Post are company stooges unbothered by idealism. They just want to win the war for breakfast, and they\u2019re happy to shovel sugar and any other shelf-stable additive onto supermarket shelves if it\u2019ll juice sales. Similarly, they\u2019re eager to grease any palms necessary \u2014 striking deals with everyone from Nikita Khrushchev (Dean Norris) to an FDA agent (Fred Armisen) \u2014 to get their latest food experiment onto American tables. <\/p>\n Despite its family-friendly veneer, Unfrosted<\/em> is a resolutely cynical work. Step outside of the candy-colored glow of its warm cinematography, and the picture is bleak. Just as Pop-Tarts come from the executives in the film studying trash, Hollywood\u2019s desperation for marketable IP means that studios are happy to greenlight literal garbage. What does it mean that Jerry Seinfeld \u2014 a man who never needs to work another day in his life if he doesn\u2019t want to, a guy mostly famous these days for simply hanging out<\/a> \u2014 is back with a movie that proves Hollywood will greenlight a film about any old brand, no matter how nonsensical? <\/p>\n Not much, it turns out. According to Seinfeld himself, Unfrosted<\/em> is merely an exercise in warm silliness, born from the bleak early days of the COVID-19 pandemic<\/a> and a very <\/em>long-gestating stand-up joke<\/a> about how much joy the treat brought him as a kid. As venerated as he is in comedy, his material has never really been about pushing buttons<\/a>, no matter what he might say about how PC culture makes the business of comedy harder<\/a>. <\/p>\n The thing is, Seinfeld\u2019s Pop-Tart gag is right. Pop-Tarts do<\/em> make you feel good. They\u2019re hot and sweet and just the right size to indulge in, without feeling too bad about it. I still get a box of Pop-Tarts for myself every now and then, the way someone who quit smoking might indulge in a loosie. I can forget myself for a minute when I eat a Pop-Tart. That\u2019s a nice feeling. Unfrosted <\/em>isn\u2019t about that feeling. It\u2019s about the product. The movie represents months and months of sustained labor from hundreds of people, including many of the most talented and recognizable names in their field, in the service of a story that possesses no satirical edge, or any human connection. It takes whatever pleasure can be derived from a Pop-Tart, and chokes on it. <\/p>\n Unfrosted<\/em><\/small> is now streaming on Netflix.<\/small><\/p>\n \n \n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Image: Netflix This is where I draw the line Growing up, I liked Pop-Tarts. I don\u2019t think that\u2019s ...<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":604,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[7],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/dulcipass.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/602"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/dulcipass.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/dulcipass.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dulcipass.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dulcipass.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=602"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/dulcipass.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/602\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":608,"href":"http:\/\/dulcipass.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/602\/revisions\/608"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dulcipass.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/604"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/dulcipass.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=602"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dulcipass.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=602"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/dulcipass.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=602"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"Hugh](\"http:\/\/dulcipass.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/UNF_20220622_05251_Rc.jpg\")
\n Photo: John P. Johnson\/Netflix<\/cite>
\n <\/figure>\n<\/div>\n![\"Seinfeld](\"http:\/\/dulcipass.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/UNF_20220615_03999_R.jpg_UNF_20220615_03999_R.jpg\")
\n Photo: John P. Johnson\/Netflix<\/cite>
\n <\/figure>\n<\/div>\n